I Accept Me

Yoga classes often begin with centering and intention setting.  Sometimes I connect immediately with an intention and other times my brain is just too busy to get to that point early in the class.

A few weeks ago, I attended a Yoga Nidra class around the time I was processing that I was not going to be able to run a half marathon.  As we were guided through relaxation and meditation, my intention became crystal clear.

I accept me.

It has remained my mantra since and I have given those words a lot of time and thought.  Our busy lives have us always doing, striving for more, and improving ourselves.  This growth is fantastic and allows us to experience life to the fullest.  However, like everything else in life, there needs to be balance.  I forgot how to respect, love and accept the current me while I was striving for the next big goal in my life.  I forgot to check to see if it made sense – if I was using today to better tomorrow and wasn’t sacrificing today for tomorrow.

This morning, I went for a run without music, without a scheduled distance or pace.  I woke up refreshed and thought that this was my chance to let it all settle on the pavement.  To let go of all the disappointment around the half marathon and accept me.

The morning air was refreshing and therapeutic.  Being able to run on what I call autopilot, was lovely.  All the negative talk that had been swirling in my head about the lost changed race goal began to fall to the sidewalk.  The words I accept me would catch in my throat at the beginning of the run.

My legs reminded me of my strength.  I accept me.  The ease of my breathing while cruising  reminded me of my dedication.  I accept me.  My fun accepting of the challenge my Garmin offered when it signaled that 4 KM was done, I was almost home and had time to try for my old 30 minute marker reminded me of my drive.  I accept me.  The smile on my face and giggle that escaped my lips reminded me of the why I run.  I run to be the best version of me right now and to keep me healthy.

I am still a runner.  I may never be a half marathoner and that is ok now because I am a runner who loves this sport dearly regardless of the measurements.

I accept me and I run for love.