I have been following where the path leads more and more as I make my way through life. I use to be a planner, a hard core planner. My lists had lists. The agenda was strict and unwavering. The “suppose to do’s” ruled my days, hours and minutes. The guilt for not following those lists to a tee was thick. The freak out sessions and internal negative dialogues that followed a failure to complete a list or task were slightly embarrassing as I think back. I was a stress ball trying to do everything but was missing everything at the same time.
My yoga practice (and I think my time running as well) has peeled back some of the layers of stress, “doing” and outside life. I’m starting to get peaks into the me that exists when nothing has to be done, when there are no demands on me, when my strengths get to shine through and where my smile waits for me to find it. The me that’s inside is pretty cool and believe it or not, pretty chill. She still likes to have a general idea of where the day is leading but can handle when things take a left turn and doesn’t send herself into a complete Tasmanian devil frenzy when a curve ball comes her way. The guilt surfaces only when it serves a purpose otherwise, it falls easily to the ground.
Currently, I’m a combination of the two extremes and I’m making a guess that’s where I’ll stay. Some days, when I’m exhausted and burnt out, the pendulum swings back to the stress bucket gal. More and more days, hours and minutes are spent smiling and enjoying the growing of the….well, I’m not sure what to call it. The real me? The true me? My essence? What my heart desires? Maybe, it’s just ME that I’m finally allowing myself to get to know.
This chill me has obviously been there forever because when my heart chose a life time companion, it chose a husband who totally flies by the seat of his pants all the time, worries about nothing (ok, so he just knows how to keep worries and stresses in check and not let them melt over into other parts of his day), lives totally in the moment and somehow can see the beauty and fun even in the most challenging situations……without trying!
So, where is all this coming from? This isn’t my typical blog entry topic. No training recaps, goal setting or giving minute by minute replays of how awesome my latest race was or wasn’t.
This entry is to share some exciting major news!
As those layers have been melting away, revealing to me what I really enjoy doing and want to continue to do with my time and energy, I have made a career choice. I will be completing my Yoga Teacher Training beginning in January. I allowed the stress me to make pro and con lists but in the end, they didn’t matter. I know this is the right career and life decision for me. I am ready for this adventurous journey that is leading somewhere beautiful.
I will always be a runner – that is a for sure fact! I will continue to participate in races – who wouldn’t want to be in that positive environment? I am just as passionate about running as I was when I began this blog. I’ve discovered along the way, partly because of running, that I’m also just as passionate about yoga and want to share that journey too!
This is me …… I’m a wife, mother of four, runner and yogi, on her adventures to her first half marathon and Yoga Teacher Training Certification. Figuring it all out one step and asana at a time! Following where the path leads.
This is surely to be a beautiful, wonderful, challenging and exciting journey!